The Queen of the Yo-Yo

Today I woke up with all the normal excuses that run through my head. Excuses for not putting one foot in front of the other to hit the pavement or go to the gym. I have a plethora of them: 

Today I will skip my work out because (circle one please):

a. I went to bed late and I'm tired
b. I plan to eat very healthy today
c. I will go later this afternoon (ha!)
d. none of the above 
e. all of the above

How many times have I put myself into denial mode about the weight that is slowly creeping to my thighs, gut, and (gasp) my chin!! I am the Queen of Dieting and the Queen of Exercising.  I am perhaps the most food motivated person you will ever meet. I will go anywhere, attend anything, as long as food is involved. Food gives me that satiated feeling of contentedness. And yet, exercise does that for me, too!  What a stark contradiction.  I can be food addicted on one hand, and then exercise addicted on the other.  I can go from running a few blocks a day to training for a full marathon in 3 months time. I can go from religiously counting calories everyday, to binging on the restaurant franchises around me. Yes, my yo-yo life has always been very present and real.

Today I decided to circle (d.) none of the above. Today I decided to put one foot in front of the other and haul my 30+ lb overweight body to the gym. Although the workout was not pretty (and why is it that these exercise rooms have mirrors on all four sides???), I huffed and puffed my way through; thinking all the while how could I let myself go? But, as I started to feel my heartbeat go up and beads of sweat dripping off my face, I felt the surge of the upswing of my yo-yo. My pendulum was swinging back. Of course my instructor was just a sprite of a woman: bubbly and exploding with energy. But somehow that energy transferred to me. Her hi-fives and shouts of encouragement fueled me. And I realized what it was that I was missing:  Encouragement. I had it for years with my running mates and groups. I had it when I was in the throes of recruiting new runners. I had it for years with hiking buddies. And now I am in new territory. Texas territory . Alone territory. I came to the realization that to find encouragement I needed to actively seek it. It was not going to find me.

I will probably always swing back and forth on my yo-yo ride, going up and then down (with weight), but I know that everyday is brand new. Every morning when I rise, I have the opportunity to succumb to my excuses or battle them and win. Today I choose to win.

But encourage each other daily, while it is still called Today, so that none of you is hardened by sin’s deception. Hebrews 3:13


Live Large and Be Free!