Pick Me! Pick Me!

Oh the haunting memories of the playground battlefield. I remember it like yesterday. Teams are ordered to form and team captains take on the task of choosing the very best athletes to ensure a win. I was never the last one to be chosen...but I was never the first or second or even fifth. Those playground moments where my heart would beat like a drum in my chest and ears, my throat tightening, and holding back tears with every blink of my eyes; standing there hoping and praying I wouldn't be chosen last, oh yes those moments. Inside my head I would chant the mantra, "please pick me, please pick me!"

In all fairness, I was the girlie girl on the playground. If a ball flew my way, I was ducking and taking cover in order to save severe damage to my face, because inevitably I would miss. I was the girl you didn't want on your team because if I got hurt I cried. Sure, I tried many sports over the years, only to fail. I tried to put on a brave face and tell myself don't be a wimp- you can do this!  But too many mental scars prevented me from ever succeeding...until...I put on my first pair of running shoes.

Running, to me, meant no flying balls, no waiting to be picked, and no accountability to a team. Running meant that I chose when and where I ran, I chose how fast or slow the pace, and I chose myself to get up, open the door, and step outside. Years of pavement therapy lay behind me. Miles and miles of a faint, grey haze, a road mixed with memories, floating like ashes on a breeze-- swirling and twirling in the confines of my mind. Moments where I ran for my kids and their problems. Moments where I ran for my own problems. Moments where there was joy and satisfaction in my life. Moments where I didn't think I could get out of bed and face another day. All moments- good and bad. I hold on to that road behind me, although it fades in the distance.  I hold on to the realization that even though things were, and still are, out of my control- running returns it back to me. I control the direction I run. I pick me to get up and face that pavement and the dawning of a new day.



"By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward - to Jesus.  I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." Philippians 3:13,14








There are many of those who have motivated me and encouraged me to run.  

That is one gift I will forever be grateful for.




Live Large and Be Free!