Blurred Lines

Once upon a time in a land far, far way....no just kidding, this is not a fairy tale. What I meant to say is that a long time ago we lived on some land and it did seem far away. Being a mom taxi over the years has given me a unique perspective on the road of life.  When my kids were growing up we lived in a town about 20-30 minutes away from their school.  As you can imagine a lot happened in that car of mine. Voices in the back could range in decibel from nice human tones to all out animal shouting matches in which I thought someone was going to be thrown from the car. 

Our day would start with me (to my children's dismay, in my pajamas with morning, wild hair) rushing out the door to get them strapped in and headed for school.  Most mornings it would be a quiet ride, since no kid is ever fully awake that early. It was nice. I could zone out to a morning talk show or listen to music. All of us, headed to school in a sleep-like trance. It was surreal! But at the end of the day, the part where kids are completely worn out from school and on the brink of starvation, and their emotional bubble ready to burst-- was when their lines were drawn. You remember those lines?  In the backseat with your sibling? That imaginary line that was always abused or violated by one party.  That fine line that if crossed would warrant a smack, a kick, or a verbal lashing. Most of the time the line was crossed purposefully, a little voice on their shoulder saying, "C'mon! They aren't the boss of you! Why shouldn't you cross it?" And sometimes, it was done by accident because you forgot the rule. But for whatever the reason the line was crossed, the consequences could be brutal!

How many invisible lines have we drawn for ourselves? With our partners, our children, or with strangers? We all know how we want to be treated and sometimes these expectations are implicitly or explicitly communicated. Sometimes it is so easy with children to draw lines. They are mold-able, flexible, and willing. They learn early on where mommy draws her line. (This excludes the teenage years where everything you've taught goes out the window and hormones dictate what lines they will cross!) But for adults and relationships, how do we clearly communicate those lines? Let's be honest, when our line is crossed we feel violated and unheard- even hurt. We become the child in the backseat crying out that someone has crossed over!

I think we are all guilty of crossing lines. Intentionally and unintentionally. We are human.  We still have that little boy or girl inside of us wanting our way, setting up imaginary boundaries with the no trespassing sign. Yet, as adults, if someone crosses over we are not allowed tantrums- unless of course you want to be viewed as crazy.  We, as adults, must learn to communicate to others, our lines. I know for me I still have a hard time communicating my imaginary line.  It's sometimes hard to find my voice and say no to more work projects, or to communicate to someone that they've crossed my line and now I am hurt.

I've crossed your line, you've crossed my line. It happens to all of us. But for me, it is nice to know that there is One who never crosses the line.  There is One who respects all lines, imaginary or real. He clearly sees them.  He is near when I want Him to be, and steps back when I need Him to. Most of the time, it is in His silence where I love Him the most, because He accepts and respects my blurred lines.




Live Large and Be Free!